Audition Central: Hairspray JR.

Script: Velma Von Tussle

SIDE 1

(TRACY nods her head. The COUNCILETTES, led by AMBER, interrogate TRACY.)

AMBER
Tracy Turnblad! What are you doing here?

TRACY
I came to audition for Corny.

AMBER
Aren t you usually in detention about now?

TRACY
I cut school to come down here. Isn t that too cool? It s always been my childhood dream to dance on this show!

AMBER
Well, maybe you oughta go back to sleep!

VELMA
Fire away, girls!

TAMMY
How many sweaters do you own?

LOU ANN
What color is your Princess phone?

TRACY
(confused, answering both questions at once)
Uh, three? Orange?

VELMA
Would you swim in an integrated pool?

TRACY
I sure would. I m all for integration. It s the New Frontier!

VELMA
Not in Baltimore it isn t. You re free to go.

SIDE 2

VELMA

And we re off for network commercial. What is this?

MAN (WILBUR)

Product placement. The sponsor insists.

VELMA

Don t I know you?

WILBUR

Honest, Velma, I m a total stranger.

(VELMA whips off his hat and fake nose and glasses to reveal WILBUR.)

VELMA

You! Guard! Riot squad! I want everybody out of the lobby and up here pronto.

(SEAWEED and three MOTORMOUTH BOYS dressed as GUARDS run in from the theater aisle.).

Ha! What is this? Some kind of Trojan Horse? And what s inside, your jailbird daughter? Guard, if anybody so much as touches that thing... open fire!

MOTORMOUTH

(dressed as a GUARD wearing a riot helmet)

Understood, Ma am.

(MOTORMOUTH pulls WILBUR off. SEAWEED exits up the theater aisle.)

VELMA

And coming back to Corny on camera one in 3& 2&