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Audition Central: Mary Poppins JR.
Script: Mary Poppins
SIDE 1
MARY POPPINS
Good morning.
GEORGE
(stunned by the sudden intruder)
Yes??
MARY POPPINS
I've come in answer to the advertisement.
GEORGE
What advertisement? We haven't placed any advertise-
MARY POPPINS
Now, let's see.
(pulls a mended piece of paper from her pocket)
"Play games, all sorts." Which I most certainly can. "Take us on outings, give us treats."
(Bewildered, GEORGE looks at the fireplace, then at MARY POPPINS. He can't believe what she holds in her hands. JANE and MICHAEL enter and listen.)
JANE
Michael! It's our advertisement!
MARY POPPINS
"Rosy cheeks and fairly pretty."
(to GEORGE)
There's no objection on that score, I hope?
GEORGE
(flustered)
Oh, none at all.
MARY POPPINS
I'm glad to hear it.
(MARY POPPINS stares at him so firmly that, for a moment, it is like a ray of light passing right through him.)
GEORGE
But-oh, take it up with Mrs. Banks. She manages all that side of things.
(heads towards the door)
Nothing domestic has anything to do with me.
(turns back and raises a finger)
And don't forget the references!
(GEORGE exits.)
MARY POPPINS
I make it a rule never to give references.
WINIFRED
Oh, I see...
MARY POPPINS
I'll see the children now, thank you.
(JANE and MICHAEL step forward noisily and stand in front of MARY POPPINS.)
WINIFRED
Oh, of course... You'll find they're very nice children.
(realizing she doesn't know the new nanny's name)
Now this is... oh-
MARY POPPINS
Mary Poppins.
(looks at JANE and MICHAEL as if she were reading their souls)
Jane, don't stare. And close your mouth, Michael. We are not a codfish.
(gives a sharp nod)
Best foot forward. Spit-spot.
(MICHAEL and JANE exit toward the nursery, followed by MARY POPPINS.)
WINIFRED
Mrs. Brill, we have a new nanny.
MRS. BRILL
She passed her interview, then?
WINIFRED
Or I did.
(WINIFRED and MRS. BRILL exit.)
SIDE 2
MARY POPPINS
A very tidy nursery, I must say. Tidier than I was expecting. Who's responsible for that?
JANE
Mrs. Bri-
MICHAEL
Me. I am. Like to keep things neat.
MARY POPPINS
Do you indeed? Well, I look forward to making use of that. If there's one thing I appreciate, it's a child whose word I can depend on. Now, first things first. I always say the proper place to hang a hat is on a hat stand.
(MARY POPPINS reaches in her bag and takes out a hat stand. JANE and MICHAEL look inside.)
JANE
There's nothing in it!
MICHAEL
We'd better keep an eye on this one. She's tricky.
JANE
Mary Poppins, how could you know what we wanted in a nanny... when we made our list?
MARY POPPINS
Your "list"? I'm not an item in the weekly shop, thank you very much.
(MARY POPPINS takes another item, perhaps a plant, out of her bag and places it strategically in the nursery.)
JANE
How did you come then? It was as if the wind just blew you here.
MARY POPPINS
It did. Now, stand over there!
(MARY POPPINS pulls out a measuring tape, holds it against MICHAEL, and reads.)
Just as I thought. "A noisy, mischievous, troublesome little boy."
MICHAEL
You're making that up!
(Without a word, MARY POPPINS holds the tape for MICHAEL to read.)
"A noisy, mischievous, trouble--"
(Stunned, MICHAEL looks at JANE.)
MARY POPPINS
Now you.
(She holds the tape against JANE and reads.)
"Thoughtless, short-tempered and untidy."
JANE
I don't believe you. Let me see--
(JANE looks at the truth-telling tape in disbelief.)
What about your measurement, Mary Poppins?
SIDE 3
MARY POPPINS
Hello, Bert.
BERT
Hello, Mary. Hello, kids.
JANE, MICHAEL
Hello.
MARY POPPINS
We're off to Mrs. Corry's Talking Shop. Care to join us?
JANE
Talking Shop?
MICHAEL
Who's Mrs. Corry?
BERT
"Who's Mrs. Corry?" Mrs. Corry is older than anyone in the world. She talked to William before he went conquering, to Vlad before he went impaling, and to Alexander before he weren't so great.
JANE
That's impossible!
MARY POPPINS
Anything can happen if you let it.
(They enter the shop.)
MRS. CORRY
Well, well, well... if it isn't Mary Poppins! With Jane and Michael Banks!
MICHAEL
She knows us?
MRS. CORRY
And how is poor little Georgie?
MICHAEL
Who?
MRS. CORRY
Georgie Banks. Your father. He used to give his nanny the slip and come into my shop here in secret. I remember Georgie used to love my gingerbread stars. Now, Mary Poppins, what can I do for you?