SIDE 1

ALEX

Surprise!


MARTY

Aaaagh! Alex, don’t interrupt me when I’m daydreaming. When the zebra’s in the zone, leave ’em alone.

ALEX

C’mon, Marty! Can’t a guy drop by to see his best friend? His best buddy? Say hi? Maybe even say, oh I don’t know...

(GLORIA, MELMAN, the LIONESSES and MASON the Chimpanzee enter with a cake.)

GLORIA, MELMAN, LIONESSES, MASON

Happy birthday!!!

MARTY

Aw, you guys...

(The group recites their clearly planned birthday greeting.)

GLORIA

Happy birthday Marty! We made you something sweet.

ALEX

It’s covered in frosting and it’s so good to eat.

MELMAN

Ooh, it’s your tenth birthday, this party is for you.

GLORIA, MELMAN, LIONESSES

Because you act like a monkey and you smell like one too!

MASON

Smell like a monkey?! I say! Stop perpetuating that loathsome stereotype! Uncivilized barbarians! 

 

SIDE 2

GLORIA

I just mentioned Conneticut! I didn’t think he’d run away!

ALEX

I can’t read this thing. Which one of these trains goes to Connecticut?

MELMAN

You know, maybe we should go back to the zoo and let the people handle it.

GLORIA

Will you stop being such a yellow-bellied scaredypants? C’mon! Alex, let’s go!

MELMAN

Hey, I can’t help being yellow, you know. Unless it’s jaundice...

ALEX

Melman, if we tell the people that Marty’s escaped, they’ll be really mad and transfer him to another zoo for good. You don’t bite the hand that feeds you!

GLORIA

Mm-hm. I know that’s right.

ALEX

We gotta bring him back and stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life. I’m gonna ask for directions.

(ALEX approaches the NEWSPAPER MAN.)

Roar.

NEWSPAPER MAN

Aaagghhhh!

(The NEWSPAPER MAN screams and runs off.)

ALEX

What did I say?


GLORIA

I guess they don’t speak the language.

MELMAN

Tourists.

ALEX

I’ll speak slower.

(ALEX approaches the OLD LADY.)

Rooooo...aaaaaaarrrrr.

OLD LADY

Take that!

(The OLD LADY stomps on his foot and hits him in the rear with her purse. Just then the PENGUINS enter, sneaking across the stage.)

ALEX

Ow! Ow! Lady, would you please, ow!

OLD LADY

You’re a bad kitty! Bad kitty!

ALEX

Argh! Lady, what is wrong with you?

OLD LADY

You’re a bad kitty! Bad kitty! 

 

SIDE 3

 

LEW

You did it! You did it!

LEMURS

You saved us! Saved us!

ALEX

Hi! Yeah, sure. Nice to meet you... squirrels? Are they squirrels?

MELMAN

I think they’re just really full-figured raccoons.

LYNN

You must come with us!

LEE

Meet the king!


MARTY

King of the full-figured raccoons?

LARS

King Julien the 13th!

ALEX

Hey, that sounds really awesome, but you know what? We’re kinda on our way to...

(MAURICE enters.)

LEMURS

Maurice! It’s Maurice!! (etc.)

LEE

(to the ZOOSTERS)

That’s Maurice. He’s King Julien’s adviser and right-hand... lemur!

MELMAN

Oh... they’re lemurs.

MAURICE

Welcome to Madagascar!!

GLORIA

Madagascar?

LEMURS

Madagascar!!

MAURICE

Ahem. Presenting, his royal highness, the illustrious King Julien the 13th... self-proclaimed Lord of the Lemurs, etc., etc., hooray everybody.

(KING JULIEN appears.)

KING JULIEN

Here I am. The King, the head of your honcho. Come out my little lemurs. 

 

SIDE 4

 

PRIVATE

Over here, Skipper!


SKIPPER

Signal Kowalski and Rico and tell them to drop anchor.

PRIVATE

Aye aye, Skipper!

(PRIVATE begins to signal the ship with semaphore flags.)

GLORIA

Wait a minute. You guys were driving the boat? Where are the people?!

SKIPPER

We killed them and ate their livers.

(SKIPPER and PRIVATE laugh.)

Just kidding, doll, the people are fine. They’re on a slow lifeboat to China. Hey! I know you two. Where’s that psychotic lion and our monochromatic friend?

(MELMAN and GLORIA turn to find MARTY gone.)

MELMAN

Marty? Where’d he go? He was right behind us.

GLORIA

Oh no. He went back for Alex! He’s gonna get himself killed! What are we gonna do?

MELMAN

What are we gonna do?

(beat)

I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do! We are going after him!

GLORIA

What?! But what about the Foosa?

MELMAN

Foosa, shmoosa! We’re New Yorkers, aren’t we?

SKIPPER

Forgedaboudit!


MELMAN

We can handle anything!

GLORIA, SKIPPER, PRIVATE

Yeah!


MELMAN

And we are not gonna sit around while our friend needs us!

GLORIA

Oh, Melman! You’re acting so brave!

MELMAN

I know. I must be coming down with malaria.

GLORIA

Let’s go after him before you start feeling better!

(GLORIA and MELMAN exit.)

SKIPPER

You hear that? Our monochromatic friend’s in trouble! Looks like we have got a date with danger!

PRIVATE

Aye aye, Skipper!

(They start to exit. SKIPPER turns back to PRIVATE.)

SKIPPER

You... probably won’t survive. 

 

SIDE 5

 

SKIPPER

Visuals! Report!


KOWALSKI

We’re in a crate on a ship in the ocean, Skipper.

SKIPPER

Interesting.

(to MASON)

You! Higher mammal. Can you read?

MASON

(reading the shipping label on their crate)

Your crate says ‘SHIP TO KENYA WILDLIFE PRESERVE, AFRICA.’ Congratulations.

SKIPPER

Africa? That ain’t gonna fly! Rico! Break that lock.

RICO

Hie-ya!

(RICO karate-chops the lock, which falls off. The PENGUINS open the front of the crate and jump out onto the deck of the ship.)

PENGUINS

Hye! Hye! Hye! Hye!

SKIPPER

We’re taking control of this rust bucket. Let’s move to the bridge.

(The PENGUINS waddle over towards the SHIP’S CAPTAIN.)

MASON

Bon voyage, you formal-wearing fowl! Enjoy your little mutiny!

(The PENGUINS sneak up on the SHIP’S CAPTAIN.)

MELMAN

Uhhhh, these waves are making me nauseous... I’m allergic to seasick pills. Oh, brother. There’s nothing worse than traveling in a crate. Ow! Splinter!

SHIP’S CAPTAIN

Oh, boy, I love the ocean... I really love my boat...

(The PENGUINS form a small pyramid behind the SHIP’S CAPTAIN with RICO on the top. RICO karate-chops the SHIP’S CAPTAIN on the neck.)

RICO

Hie-ya!

SHIP’S CAPTAIN

Ooff!