Script

SIDE 1

PAULETTE

It's days like today I miss my dog Rufus the most. He's my angel...

(ELLE looks at the photo)

ELLE

Beyond adorable. And no woman should be denied her dog.

PAULETTE

Tell me something I don't know.

(PAULETTE pulls herself together as VIVIENNE and her FRIENDS enter, talk amongst themselves.)

VIVIENNE

So I'll bring the lobster potstickers.

WHITNEY

Perfect. Now that's a party.

(VIVIENNE stops in her tracks when she sees ELLE. ELLE can 't help but perk up and be hopeful at the mention of 'party. ')

ELLE

(can 't help herself, blurts)

There's a party?

(sees VIVIENNE)

Oh. Hello, Vivienne.

VIVIENNE

Hello, Elle.

WHITNEY

Yeah...

(looks to VIVIENNE, nervous)

Next Friday night a few people are getting together...

PAULETTE

Hey, maybe that guy you like'll be there, Elle! You should go!

(Instantly VIVIENNE knows who the guy in question is and embraces the opportunity.)

VIVIENNE

Definitely come. It's a costume party.

ELLE

I love costume parties!

VIVIENNE

Of course you do... Next Friday at eight, 243 Mass Ave. See you there.

ELLE

Thanks, Vivienne.

VIVIENNE and WHITNEY exit.)

PAULETTE

Now go and do this, honey. 'Cause if a girl like you can't win back your man, there's no hope for the rest of us.

ELLE

Thank you for talking me off the ledge, Paulette! You have no idea how much I needed this!

(ELLE and PAULETTE hug and ELLE dashes out to change.)

PAULETTE

Now you go and fight for him!

SIDE 2

VIVIENNE

All that pink you're wearing. Is that even legal?

ELLE

Pink's my signature color.

VIVIENNE

So I gathered.

EMMETT

Callahan should be here any second. Three years ago I was sitting right where you're sitting and I'd heard the same rumors I'm sure you've heard too. Callahan's ruthless. What you really need to know is-

(EMMETT falls silent as CALLAHAN enters.)

CALLAHAN

-You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be used against you.

(The CLASS sits up straight to listen.)

When you choose a career in law you're bound to hear that "a lawyer is a shark." Ignore that. It's simplistic and it's stupid. Only some of you will turn out sharks. The rest...are chum.

(No reaction from the CLASS.)

What's my point? I'll tell you. From this class I will hire four young sharks to work at my billion-dollar law firm. As interns. For me. Virtually guaranteeing a career. Provided you can survive.

(CALLAHAN notices ELLE in the front row.)

Now, Ms...?

ELLE

(brightly)

Woods. Elle Woods.

CALLAHAN

Someone's had their morning coffee. Would you summarize the case of State of Indiana v. Hearne from your reading, please.

ELLE

Okay, who assigns reading for the first day of class?

SIDE 3

VIVIENNE

I didn't make you look bad, you just weren't prepared. Try opening a law book. But I should warn you. They don't come with pictures.

EMMETT

So I'll give you ladies a moment then.

(EMMETT creeps back into class. WARNER enters.)

WARNER

Hey!-

ELLE

Warner! Thank God you're here.

(ELLE goes up to a stunned WARNER.)

WARNER

Elle, I'm sorry-

ELLE

Sorry about what?

VIVIENNE

Warner, is there something you'd like to share with Elle?

ELLE

Do you know her?

WARNER

Yeah... Elle, Vivienne and I went to boarding school together... and she's my girlfriend now.

ELLE

I'm sorry. What did you say?

VIVIENNE

He said I'm his girlfriend.

ELLE

GIRLFRIEND?!?!?!?!