Script

SIDE 1

Calliope! Calliope? Follow me into this abandoned auditorium.

(CALLIOPE enters)

Now, Sister, I am confused. We re Muses of inspiration. What are we doing in a theater?

Come along to the center of stage, past this discarded scenery.

(licking her lips)
Oh, scenery!

Calliope! No chewing the scenery! This is where once and for all we shall put a curse on Kira and her mortal Sonny. We shall make them fall in love.

Why do mortals fall in love?

Oh, there are many reasons why mortals fall in love. For some, it is lust. For others, it is companionship. For a few in the San Fernando Valley, it is simply because the other one has air conditioning. But we shall make them fall in love in the most lethal way known. We shall make them complete one another.

Girl, you are a menace!

Off we do go! Let us hide and complete our evil mission.

Giggle!

No! Let us not giggle! Let us cackle!

How about I giggle and you cackle?

SIDE 2

Notice how we do inspire the humans here in Los Angeles and Orange Counties.

Inspiration here, it would seem, is received like water in a land of drought.

Oooh, snapeth.

(#5  THE MUSES MUSE (PART 1) begins.)

(enters and speaks formally)
Huzzah, Sisters!

Huzzah to Clio, leader of the Muses!

As I am being pursued by the mortal named Sonny Malone, my intercourse with you must be fleeting.

Yes, my younger and exceedingly immature sister, I indeed notice your labors with this human are more then ardent  are you falling in love with him? Or do you simply wish to create art yourself?

You speak with a serpent s tongue, my old, old, ancient and potentially senile sister. I know that for Muses to create is forbidden by Zeus himself. Forbidden almost as much as falling in love with a mortal. My work with the one they call Sonny Malone is purely selfish. For Zeus has appeared to me in dreams and told me that one day soon I will inspire a creation so wondrous that I will be granted the gift of... Xanadu!

(#6  THE MUSES MUSE (PART 2) begins.)

(except Melpomene and Calliope)
Xanadu!

Xanadu? The gift so grand that none of us truly knows what it is?

SIDE 3

Zeus tells me he will be sending a sign. And now I must go and inspire great work!

(#7  THE MUSES MUSE (PART 3) begins. KIRA exits.)

Sweet Sisters of Inspiration!

Let us attend to our various charges!

(#8  THE MUSES MUSE (PART 4) begins. The MUSES exit, leaving MELPOMENE and CALLIOPE alone.) begins. KIRA exits.)

Calliope, hasten hither.

I m already hither.

I crave a word with you. I need not tell you, as first born, I was entitled to the position of leader of the Muses.

And yet Zeus did not grant thusly. What gives?

Achelous. [akhe-ló-os]

The river god?

He was a river god, and he was a rambling man. He left me with my daughters, Molpe [mol-pay], Peisonoe [pay-so-no-ee], Thelxiepeia [thel-ksee-EH-pee-ah]

Like a Jennifer or a Susan would have killed you.

Ah, my daughters! For years I instructed them in the lute and the flute. And now they sit by the seaside singing and playing and luring sailors to their rocky deaths. Yes, my daughters, the Sirens.