Script

SIDE 1

Hey Lambchops& Goody, this is the drummer I told you about!
 

But she s a girl.
 

Yeah. You got a problem with that?
 

No, no, I like girls. It s just I get nervous when they got sticks in their hands.
 

Knock it off, guys. If we re gonna be a band, we gotta get along.

(MR. SHEINKOPF enters and starts to cross.)

Excuse me, Mr. Sheinkopf. We d like to work together in Freshman Ensemble.
 

Percussion, trumpet, violin? What kind of music would you play?
 

New wave&
 

Funk&
 

Classic rock&
 

Maybe a little disco.
 

We re starting a band.
 

Oy, it s going to be a long year.
 

SIDE 2

All right, class, let s come to order.

(The STUDENTS take their seats except LAMBCHOPS, who continues yakking.)

Well, Grace, since you re already up, let s hear your summary of Death of a Salesman.
 

(taking chewing gum out of her mouth and sticking it behind her ear)
So, Willy Loman  he s a traveling salesman and he s havin a nervous breakdown. I guess what he s sellin ain t sellin ! See, he had these big dreams for his two sons, Biff and Happy. But, trust me, nobody s happy in this play. Oh, yeah, he croaks at the end. It was real sad. No really. It drained my eyeballs.

Not bad, Grace. A little rough around the edges.