Script

(ARTHUR runs on, panicked and screaming. Three COOL KIDS enter from the opposite side of the stage.)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
(panting)
OK. OK. Me and Stanley  Stanley's cool now that he's flat and all  we were waiting for the bus and the other cool kids were like

Whoah, Stanley, and 'lil kid bro Stanley, it's like totally windy...

...and me and Stanley were like "Yeah, it's windy..." And then the cool kids were all like:

Yo, 'lil kid bro Stanley, dude, I got an idea.

Totally fly.

So they held Stanley down, tied a string to his shirt, then one of the cool kids ran while holding the string, and another held Stanley by the shoulders, and Stanley started flying like a kite!

Check it out, he's surfin' it!

Whoah, he's like, way up there, dude.

Make him dive!

Cool!

But then, like, things took a tragic turn...

Yo, freaks! The bus!

Suh-weet!

We're outta here...

They let go of Stanley's string and got on the bus.

See ya' Stan. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

(The COOL KIDS exit.)

I looked up at Stanley, and I looked at the bus. Stanley. Bus. Bus. Stanley.
(a beat)
I mean come on! We're talking the cool kids here.
(a beat)
I got on the bus.
(a beat)
I know Stanley's dead. Or at least seriously injured. Or stuck in the power lines.
(getting "zapped")
Dzt... Dzzzt... Dzzzzzt!!!
(a beat)
Yeah, Stanley's probably dead. And I'm definitely grounded.
(a beat)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

(ARTHUR runs off.)