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Script
Audition Central: Roald Dahl's James and the Giant Peach JR.
Script: Ladybug
SIDE 1
(CENTIPEDE crosses into the scene. He s not feeling well. )
CENTIPEDE
Hey! Is anyone else feeling a little burpie in the intestines?
SPIDER
You probably ate too much peach.
CENTIPEDE
It s these waves, they re making me feel oh, oh, no! Oh, no!
SPIDER
Are you alright?
(CENTIPEDE vomits off the back of the peach.)
CENTIPEDE
(wiping his mouth)
That s much better.
(spotting something in the ocean)
Look! Over there! It s a sea monster! It s a sea monster!
EARTHWORM
What is that? WHAT IS THAT?!
JAMES
They re sharks!
INSECTS
Sharks?!
JAMES
There are hundreds of them! And they re coming this way!
(The SHARKS ram the peach.)
ALL
Whoah!
EARTHWORM
What do they want? WHAT DO THEY WANT?
JAMES
I think they re eating the peach.
EARTHWORM
But, they ll sink the ship!
LADYBUG
We must do something!
CENTIPEDE
I m not feeling so well! Oh, no! Oh, oh, no!
(CENTIPEDE vomits again. The sound of thousands of seagulls swarming is heard.)
SPIDER
(peering overboard)
You must see this! There are thousands of seagulls eating Centipede s vomit!
CENTIPEDE
Shoo! Shoo! Stupid seagulls!
EARTHWORM
Seagulls!? I m terrified of seagulls!
JAMES
Hold on everyone! The sharks are coming back!
(The SHARKS ram into the peach, sending everyone flying.)
INSECTS, JAMES
Whoah!
LADYBUG
Is there nothing we can do?
JAMES
There is something
EARTHWORM
Tell us!
JAMES
If an aeroplane can take to the sky, why can t a peach?
CENTIPEDE
Because an aeroplane has engines and wings!
JAMES
And so do we.
LADYBUG
The seagulls!
JAMES
Exactly! They can be our engines and our wings!
CENTIPEDE
How s that gonna work?!
JAMES
Spider, is your web strong?
SPIDER
The strongest in the world.
JAMES
And can you make lots of it?
SPIDER
I can spin all the web you need!
JAMES
Perfect! We ll loop Spider s web around the seagulls necks, and then we ll tie the other end to the stem of the peach.
CENTIPEDE
And how are you going to get those seagulls down here?
JAMES
Bait!
(The INSECTS look pointedly at EARTHWORM.)
EARTHWORM
I find that term incredibly insensitive.
JAMES
But you are the biggest, juiciest earthworm in the entire world.
EARTHWORM
I am not about to be pecked to death by a flock of seagulls.
JAMES
I won t let them touch you, Earthworm. I promise.
EARTHWORM
Fine... I ll do it. For you, James.
JAMES
Thank you, Earthworm. Action stations everyone! We ve not a moment to lose!
CENTIPEDE
This is never gonna work!
SIDE 2
LADYBUG
It feels quite wonderful to be free of that wretched hillside.
EARTHWORM
And Spiker and Sponge.
SPIDER
Did you know they killed my fiancé?
LADYBUG
No!
SPIDER
Yes! And then the gigantic one... she ate him.
LADYBUG
Horrible!
(CENTIPEDE snores loudly.)
EARTHWORM
(afraid)
What was that?! What WAS THAT?!
JAMES
It was just Centipede snoring.
CENTIPEDE
(waking)
What? What s going on? Why did the human say my name?
SPIDER
Tell them what happened to you, Centipede.
CENTIPEDE
Blah, who cares.
SPIDER
We re sharing!
CENTIPEDE
Fine! My family was in the sock and shoe racket. We re pretty famous in the bug world. Til Spiker and Sponge sprayed everyone with insecticide in the great raid of fifty-nine.
LADYBUG
Those two monsters hated everything. Even ladybugs. Who doesn t like ladybugs?
GRASSHOPPER
I like ladybugs.
(Awkward silence as LADYBUG and GRASSHOPPER share coy glances.)
JAMES
(a realization)
Spiker and Sponge were horrible to everyone.
CENTIPEDE
Spiker and Sponge were no different than any of you humans.
GRASSHOPPER
Centipede, James is one of us.
CENTIPEDE
That is a human boy. His kind pulls off our legs, or burns us with magnifying glasses! He is NOT one of us! He will NEVER be one of us!
(CENTIPEDE climbs up to the crow s nest, alone.)
LADYBUG
Ignore him, James. His type are pests.
CENTIPEDE
(calling from the ladder)
And your type are snobs!
LADYBUG
James, you haven t said anything about your parents. Where are they?
GRASSHOPPER
They must be very worried about you.
(JAMES becomes silent, staring at the ground. SPIDER, LADYBUG and GRASSHOPPER sense something is very wrong.)
SPIDER
James, it s alright. You can tell us.
JAMES
My parents were in a horrible accident, and now they re... gone.