SIDE 1

(CENTIPEDE crosses into the scene. He s not feeling well. )

CENTIPEDE

Hey! Is anyone else feeling a little burpie in the intestines?

SPIDER

You probably ate too much peach.

CENTIPEDE

It s these waves, they re making me feel  oh, oh, no! Oh, no!

SPIDER

Are you alright?

(CENTIPEDE vomits off the back of the peach.)

CENTIPEDE

(wiping his mouth)

That s much better.

(spotting something in the ocean)

Look! Over there! It s a sea monster! It s a sea monster!

EARTHWORM

What is that? WHAT IS THAT?!

JAMES

They re sharks!

INSECTS

Sharks?!

JAMES

There are hundreds of them! And they re coming this way!

(The SHARKS ram the peach.)

ALL

Whoah!


EARTHWORM

What do they want? WHAT DO THEY WANT?

JAMES

I think they re eating the peach.

EARTHWORM

But, they ll sink the ship!

LADYBUG

We must do something!

CENTIPEDE

I m not feeling so well! Oh, no! Oh, oh, no!

(CENTIPEDE vomits again.
 The sound of thousands of seagulls swarming is heard.)

SPIDER

(peering overboard)

You must see this! There are thousands of seagulls eating Centipede s vomit!

CENTIPEDE

Shoo! Shoo! Stupid seagulls!

EARTHWORM

Seagulls!? I m terrified of seagulls!

JAMES

Hold on everyone! The sharks are coming back!

(The SHARKS ram into the peach, sending everyone flying.)

INSECTS, JAMES

Whoah!


LADYBUG

 

Is there nothing we can do?

JAMES

There is something

EARTHWORM

Tell us!

JAMES

If an aeroplane can take to the sky, why can t a peach?

CENTIPEDE

Because an aeroplane has engines and wings!

JAMES

And so do we.

LADYBUG

The seagulls!

JAMES

Exactly! They can be our engines and our wings!

CENTIPEDE

How s that gonna work?!

JAMES

Spider, is your web strong?

SPIDER

The strongest in the world.

JAMES

And can you make lots of it?

SPIDER

I can spin all the web you need!

JAMES

Perfect! We ll loop Spider s web around the seagulls necks, and then we ll tie the other end to the stem of the peach.

CENTIPEDE

And how are you going to get those seagulls down here?

 

JAMES

Bait!

(The INSECTS look pointedly at EARTHWORM.)

EARTHWORM

I find that term incredibly insensitive.

JAMES

But you are the biggest, juiciest earthworm in the entire world.

EARTHWORM

I am not about to be pecked to death by a flock of seagulls.

JAMES

I won t let them touch you, Earthworm. I promise.

EARTHWORM

Fine... I ll do it. For you, James.

JAMES

Thank you, Earthworm. Action stations everyone! We ve not a moment to lose!

CENTIPEDE

This is never gonna work!


 

 

SIDE 2

 

LADYBUG

It feels quite wonderful to be free of that wretched hillside.

EARTHWORM

And Spiker and Sponge.

SPIDER

Did you know they killed my fiancé?

LADYBUG

No!


SPIDER

Yes! And then the gigantic one... she ate him.

LADYBUG

Horrible!

(CENTIPEDE snores loudly.)

EARTHWORM

(afraid)

What was that?! What WAS THAT?!

JAMES

It was just Centipede snoring.

CENTIPEDE

(waking)

What? What s going on? Why did the human say my name?

SPIDER

Tell them what happened to you, Centipede.

CENTIPEDE

Blah, who cares.

SPIDER

We re sharing!

CENTIPEDE

Fine! My family was in the sock and shoe racket. We re pretty famous in the bug world.  Til Spiker and Sponge sprayed everyone with insecticide in the great raid of fifty-nine.

LADYBUG

Those two monsters hated everything. Even ladybugs. Who doesn t like ladybugs?

GRASSHOPPER

I like ladybugs.

(Awkward silence as LADYBUG and GRASSHOPPER share coy glances.)

JAMES

(a realization)

Spiker and Sponge were horrible to everyone.

CENTIPEDE

Spiker and Sponge were no different than any of you humans.

GRASSHOPPER

Centipede, James is one of us.

CENTIPEDE

That is a human boy. His kind pulls off our legs, or burns us with magnifying glasses! He is NOT one of us! He will NEVER be one of us!

(CENTIPEDE climbs up to the crow s nest, alone.)

LADYBUG

Ignore him, James. His type are pests.

CENTIPEDE

(calling from the ladder)

And your type are snobs!

LADYBUG

James, you haven t said anything about your parents. Where are they?

GRASSHOPPER

They must be very worried about you.

(JAMES becomes silent, staring at the ground. SPIDER, LADYBUG and GRASSHOPPER sense something is very wrong.)

SPIDER

James, it s alright. You can tell us.

JAMES

My parents were in a horrible accident, and now they re... gone.