Script
Audition Central: Peter Pan JR.
Script: Smee
SIDE 1
CAPTAIN HOOK
Most of all I want their captain, Peter Pan. ’Twas he cut off me arm. Oh, I have waited long to shake hands with him with this.
SMEE
Yet I have oft heard you say your hook was worth a score of hands – for combing the hair, and other homely uses.
CAPTAIN HOOK
Aye, Smee, if I were a mother, I would pray that me children be born with this...
(indicating the hook)
... instead of that.
(indicating his hand)
But Pan flung me hand to a crocodile that happened to be passing by.
SMEE
I have often noticed your strange dread of crocodiles.
CAPTAIN HOOK
Not of crocodiles, but of that one crocodile. He liked me hand so much that he has followed me ever since – from land to land, from sea to sea, he follows the ship, licking his lips for the rest of me.
SMEE
In a way it is sort of a compliment.
CAPTAIN HOOK
Well, I want no such compliments! Smee, that crocodile would have got me long ere this if he could have crept upon me unawares. But by some lucky chance he swallowed a clock—
SMEE
A clock!
CAPTAIN HOOK
And it goes on – tick, tock, tick – within him; and so, before he can reach me I hear the tick.
SMEE
Some day the clock will run down, and then he’ll get you.
CAPTAIN HOOK
Ay, that is the fear that haunts me.
(CAPTAIN HOOK sits on a large mushroom and then
suddenly jumps back up.)
Ooooh!